Whenever I’m back visiting my parents in Florida, I like to look through their storage bins that contain things from my childhood. Quite often, I re-discover the glory my younger self once had. These storage bins are stuffed with endless certificates, paper ribbons, and sticker sheets all of which profess the talent, nay, the potential, of a young Sarah Walker.
But why was I so lauded with these paper riches? Who was I? What did I desire most as a child weighed down by greatness? Was I aware that one day I would be the president and CEO of the Sarah Walker Fan Club?
Last week, I found some answers. Literally. Under my bed were two completely preserved journals from my elementary school years.
These journals were used in my school as a way to connect with our teachers. The ones I found are from second and fifth grades. Below are some of the entries I submitted to my teachers. Please be aware, these are the inner thoughts of a child prodigy. None of this is meant to make you feel uncomfortable or less than.
SECOND GRADE
Forget cat or dog. No earthly creature would do as the “best pet” for me. I had to create a brand-new animal, two parts mythical and one part glow-in-the-dark (that’s the lightasaur). Only then would it truly be the best pet. And let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want a pegacorn for a pet? Although, the pet insurance must be through the roof with all those earth horses looking to kill them.
Note: This was not found in the journal. I drew this the other night. Yep, this drawing comes from a 27 year old woman.
Uh-oh. This shows an unfortunate pattern developing. 4 out of the 5 things I like about myself are based on other people liking me. No wonder I am pursuing a life in the acting world.
Whoa! Talk about friend drama! By the time I was eight, I was already learning that girls can’t ever have uncomplicated friendships. Also, this entry seems to illustrate some co-dependency issues. Oh well.
FIFTH GRADE
Interesting. I’ve achieved most of my goals on this list. Still working on the career part but 9 out of 10 isn’t bad. Glad I had the foresight to clarify my number 1 Go to College goal down at number 8′s goal, Get a College Education. Especially when my number 9 goal was to Go to Parties. Whew.
There’s not much to say about that one. Lizards were my friends.
I was a child whose romantic affections could not be bought. Side note: What a weird question to ask a group of ten year olds.
This is the final journal entry of the day. It pretty much sums up everything I believe in.
Even the president and CEO of the Sarah Walker Fan Club.
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This post makes me so happy. Giddy happy.
Words cannot express how much I love this entry. The pegacorn is fucking brilliant! All the other entries clearly show the beginnings of a scary sociopath. I can’t believe your teacher didn’t a) try to get you a book deal at the age of 8 or b) make you see a child psychiatrist for being a megalomanic.
The smiley faces from my teacher are the best.
I just saw these! This is a great idea. I have to go search for some of my childhood writings when I’m back at home!
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You are hysterical! We share the same aunt – Louise – and I can identify some shared family traits.
oh my goodness, ryan, thank you! I guess being awesome runs in the family.
“For our next assignment, I want you to write about whether you would kiss your teacher if she offered you $100.”
Remember the Unicorn Club you headed?
stop it! of course I do! I still remember going to the library and printing out flyers on purple paper. best. club. ever.
When I was 8, I wrote in my journals that I wanted to host the Academy awards. AND be nominated for best actor.
Funny how life works out!
These journal entries from your youth prove that if we had met when we were kids, then our shared love of unicorns and our high expectations for pets would’ve totally made us good friends. (Too bad we didn’t meet when we were kids…)